During my travels I was looking for a place, where happiness is people’s privilege. A place where it wasn’t taken from them for some reason. I think that if there still will be only one single person who is suffering and some other guys are taking advantage of it – peace and happiness on Earth is impossible.
I am very sad about poor pure evil people, because they, being incapable of empathy- ruin everything never seeing how the suffering they’ve helped to create comes back to them. Interesting fun fact? I perceive it a different kind of brain malfunction. Not the kind that troubles me- some kind of dopamine disorder. Actually I probably have too much empathy to be a psychopath. You need to be a psychopath if you want to “succeed”, that’s what I’ve learned. The ends sacrifice the means- they say.
I’ve visited many places. I thought Norway – were the inhabitants don’t need fight for survival every single day. I’ve tried extraordinary France and sunny Sicily, where just the heartbeat could be enough to be joyful and thankful for the magic of being. Bathing in the sun and southern spirit. I’ve tried many places, here and there. Usually, I left that places blaming the external conditions. I could run the whole life, but I cannot hide from myself. The thing is- I am a neurotic, a guy with completely disturbed brain chemistry. I didn’t even do drugs, except cigarettes. Anyways the events I was subjected to done a large portion of this stuff. Some of it is made by my own ignorance, because I am still learning to learn. How weird is that?
I thought my heart’s poor and it will never rejoice, but I’ve found the paradise. It was very good life for me a couple of past days. Thanks to your help, help of my sister who I’ve managed to contact – again, and few friends back in Poland- I could get out of my hometown which I despise. There’s not many places like that on the planet. You can smell despair in the air. Now Polish people don’t even know how they’ve been robbed by everybody else, even their own ‘caretakers’.
Politicians which only pretend to know the solutions, being just administrative robots. They will sacrifice any people’s freedoms for the sake of control. They have one motto: “do as I say don’t do as I do”. Political correctness and media manipulations are the means of maintaining status quo- free speech is absolutely and definitely suppressed. It’s not only Poland that found itself in peril, a lot of the nations are deep into the cultural crisis.
Why is that so important? The culture along with knowledge (especially historical but not only) is shaping the people’s lives. If they are consumed by trivia and never learn actual, real stuff- they will cease to develop, they will devolve. This is bad. A lot of people are going backwards in time. Someone is clearly benefiting. Raping the herd. I am travelling partially inspired by this situation. The truth is Europe isn’t no land of sunshine and free candy. It is very hard to not end up being a minimal wage slave- amount of money that doesn’t cover basic expenses, not to mention supporting a family. Talking heads & empty suits still brainwashing people from the idiot box though. Get a job! Get a job! Tunnel vision. These jobs are disgrace to human kind! Especially, since we already have free energy patents. But the researchers who wants to benefit the humankind against the interests of big pharma or energy industries are suppressed or even wacked. This stuff is scary.
If you connect this stuff I see – with funny deficiencies of my neurotransmitters you get pretty neat mixture of sadness, pain and strange loneliness. Comes in a bundle with fear. Ha ha. Ha.
Something good happened though. It happens from time to time when I am in motion, travelling.
Anyways, with your help I was finally happy for a few days. But things first first.
Why I’ve flew to Canary Islands without money? Because I don’t have money in Poland and it’s winter there. It is really cold and Wałbrzych looks uniquely sad. A lot of grey, poor zombies working out debt cycles in practice. Could stay with grandma which is particularly depressing. It was my act of desperation to save remaining sanity. Get to the sun. And I’ve done it, it was the best move I could make back then. I bade farewell to my grandma and few friends from my hometown and started the expedition into the unknown.
Into… the sun!
I could sincerely state that this place is a paradise. I’ve landed on Gran Canaria, near Las Palmas with a plan. Check out one place where I had some volunteering to do for food&sleep. The other hostel (another one) had the same vacancy but in the weeks. I thought it will be simple. Even if I don’t succeed at first I can easily survive due to warm, sunny climate of island. Of course things tend to complicate near dusk. I have a smart-phone which I can use to make some photos and short clips or record audios. I am grateful to the Universe for this technology (courtesy of my grandma who got another cell in bundle with prolongation of previous agreement) since my computer is doing not well and I could not use it to connect the magnificent Internets. I strongly believe that the internet is humanity’s last hope. The free circulation of information is one last thing that can oust the phony bastards from power over people. Nevermind. Using this smart-phone I’ve found some Polish group. I’ve posted there for help.
There was a guy who was willing to help me. I took a ferry to Tenerife. Not too much money left. It seems the hidden inflation and debauchery of money visited every corner of our planet. I strive to find clean places- energetically and mentally. Instinctively- to heal. I am proud of people who manage to fight or prosper and still be humane and healthy. The truth is that every and each one of us is tainted in some way, I mean infested with systemic failures, structural flaws of this huge Moloch as the beatniks would name it or whatever. Humanity is in deep trouble, only positive development can help us – and collecting more and more money or debt ceased to be the development which this planet and its inhabitants truly need. This blog is after all a monument of human solidarity and help in spite of dangerous individual and collective adventures in consciousness. This is the time when our corporate overlords and banker cabal, plus the media moguls who brainwashed us for years – start to fear. Not we anymore, we will live and thrive while they will consume the fruits of their labour- despair, scarcity and destructive interference.
Of course – reflective attitude doesn’t help when you are hungry and without shelter. I went to see this guy from Poland. I’ve got a warm welcome. We smoked some pot and a glass of whiskey with cola, the only drink that I can bear. Something was not right though. They were kinda nervous about the situation and – since I’ve informed two additional people where do I go (in case of a weird situation; I didn’t want no gay “activists”, no more house of free love or hypocrite dual-standards politically correct scumbags doing harm to their animals and mocking peers that came to help them) and these guys who invited me started to act very suspicious. They’ve drank too much so their moves became more and more nervous. Finally, they wanted to see my phone. I haven’t agreed on that. So I’ve run. Not too long though. I kinda fell off the terrace.
I’ve ended up in the bushes, with scratches and bruises. They were on my track, so I’ve literally got my shit together and ran. And I don’t blame them for being afraid. I don’t inquire what kind of activities they perpetuated and don’t want to know why they’ve became so suspicious. Anyways I’ve ended up homeless and the three worst days of my life commenced!
I ate almost nothing for three days. Nothing. Wandering through the streets and sleeping anywhere. At the end I’ve looked like a zombie or the legendary Gollum from Lord of the Rings.
Frankly, I thought that this is the very end. That I’ve gambled and lost. Was losing my mind. Crying. I haven’t seen any point of proceeding further with this scary, meaningless existence. Needed by anybody, without perspectives to rest and get my shit together I mean mentally… Thought after thought was racing through my mind and I’ve never felt that bad in my life. If you don’t eat, especially sugar for a long time- your mind and body starts to adapt and something really weird is going on with the elements.
But I’ve survived to tell you how life has its ups and downs. Even if you don’t have any money. There’s no safety we can buy with being a slave. Not more than we can manage with our minds our brains.