I WANT TO MARRY TWINS, BUT I HAVE NO MONEY

I’m  on this beautiful island. Surrounded by nature. So close to the Ocean. How come I live in this heavenly pIace? I want to relate to you quickly what I’m doing on Tenerife.

Well… I am still sort of a slave in this capitalist world but maybe I’m not so worried about that fact anymore. My mind is more busy  worrying about other stuff at the moment. Like this little cute twin-sister-princess combo. If anybody knows a country where it is allowed to marry two girls legally without studying the Koran by heart in advance, please let me know. Nevermind. I’m still totally broke so I wouldn’t be able to  afford even one.  I don’t have money to rent a room so to survive, I work in exchange for food and accomodation. It’s called “being a volunteer”. Sounds very noble, huh?
I start to believe that volunteering has become my plan for life, because it’s virtually the tenth time in my life that I’ve helped others in exchange for being fed. I’ve done that in Italy, England, Norway, Sweden and even in Poland, where I come from. There are some positive sides of living this way. Isn’t it great to work in a hostel full of young and joyful people, have fun with them, smoke joints, be given free accommodation and food every day ? Some of you may think not. The truth is, it’s a job requiring some sacrifices.
I do nightshifts. I work six days a week and work 7 hours per day (from 1AM to 8AM), which equals 42 hours a week. In other words,  I work more than an average full-time worker. And I am not paid for working overtime with more rice. My tasks include spending  nights at the hostel, preparing coffee, picking up trash and people from the airport as a driver or dropping them off , asking drunk people to shut up, boiling eggs for breakfast,  and I sleep it off during days. If you think that I occupy a nice and cozy room here in the hostel, you’re wrong. I sleep in a tent. It seems that history runs in circles, at least mine, since a tent is exactly the same type of housing I used to “enjoy” in Norway…  I hardly have time for entertaining myself, because I rest after busy nights, missing the most beautiful and sunny parts of the day… sometimes I forgo sleep entirely and run off coffee instead in order to make the most of the daylight hours.   And do you know what my final conclusion is going to be? Everything is ok. More or less. I simply like this place. Its a cool place. And it’s my choice to be here. However strange and surprising it may seem, I’ve found joy and peace here, so I smile a lot again.  Despite the fact that I have no place to go and money to escape I really want to be here right now. One day I will have to move. I have to be ready. For sure I don’t want to go back to a bench in Santa Cruz.poprawione1428_2083638358_n

When suffering a spate of depression after coming back to my home town of Walbrzych, I realized that there was no fucking way I wanted to stay there. Do you know that the city of Walbrzych is considered to be the most miserable city in Poland? First of all, it is one of the most polluted cities in Poland. Although urban authorities have tried to introduce some regulations on the issue of air pollution, the results are hardly visible. Secondly, Walbrzych is not a popular destination for visitors. It used to be a majestic city, but after being industrialized it became destroyed and dirty. There are also no newcomers eager to move in and at the same time, most of young people try to do everything to escape from that place. It seems that there’s no hope for the city, as if it were cursed. All those factors made me decide to exchange the greyness for the tropical islands.

Ok… I have done enough complaining in this article. I don’t want to make my readers feel drained after reading this. So here come positive paragraphs of my story.

As much as my life sucks, I’ve grown to accept it, at least for now. Finally, I’m living in a paradise and I’m quite happy being here. I meet a lot of amazing people every day and I made beautiful friendships with some of them. Having free time, I go to the beach or I run to stay in shape. The hostel’s guests, who are mostly students, throw outdoor parties very often, so it’s impossible to get bored here. For the most part, even having drunk alcohol, they are very funny, do not start brawls and behave well. However, I don’t want to drink. Cigarettes and coca-cola are already my conscious choice for addition. Although I only smoke occasionally, sometimes I think about quitting weed altogether, but I’m not ready to take the plunge. Anyway, it is the one little thing which always lifts my mood. Living on Tenerife, I’ve learned to take joy in simple things like taking pictures, smiling to the people and walking along the beach. I can eat, talk and smile in a way I haven´t been able to in a long time.
My life isn’t that bad right now, is it? I’ve learnt to take joy from these things however, worry that sometimes it makes me forget about my past and the reasons I am here.

Two years ago, when doing my voluntary job in Palermo, Sicily, I met Salvatore. Since then, he has been one of the biggest inspirations in my life and his words still keep me going (although I don’t stick to all of his words of advice…). I saw him for the first time when he arrived to stay in an apartment I was taking care of. He was accompanied by an unearthly beautiful, russian girl.  I have to admit, although I feel ashamed about my stupid prejudice, that I was sure he had found her on some online dating service and it wouldn’t be a long-lasting relationship. Oh Lord, I was such an idiot thinking like this. Now this lovely couple is married, they have a child and I keep my fingers crossed for a similar lifelong happiness.  Coming back to the plot, I showed Salvatore a flat he was about to occupy during his stay. That elegant man, wearing fashionable clothes and a luxury watch, seemed an extraterrestrial creature to me (at least not from my world). I was so interested in that guy, that I eventually plucked up courage to ask him what his profession was. He turned out to be a pre-eminent neurosurgeon. However dumb it may sound, I simply couldn’t take my eyes off him.  He created an impression of being such a genius. Seriously, one has to have a brilliant mind to open people’s skulls and operate on their brain. That was how our chit-chat started. He noticed that something was wrong with me so I decided to tell him the story of my life, including my periods of mental breakdowns. He felt willing to bring happiness back to my life… so he invited me to a party!

Can you imagine it? A neurosurgeon, rich as fuck, asked me to go to a party with him! I agreed, but I have to confess that I was overwhelmed by his act of kindness. I felt a little bit like a Cinderella by his and his girlfriend’s side, but Salvatore turned out to be one of the most laid-back, funny and outgoing guys I’ve ever met. Happiness beaming from his sparkling eyes and a grin from ear to ear gave me the feeling that he was a good hearted and sincere person. That unforgettable night, he paid for my drinks, gave me joints and I tasted octopus for the first time in my life. We smoked, drank and at together all night long and shared our thoughts with each other. It Alongside his busy job of being a neurosurgeon, Salvatore was a life coach too,  to which he offered me advice and guidance. He, being my new mentor, gave me the following tips on  how to overcome my depression.  Becouse he’s a good one he’s expensive too.  Now I owe  5000 euro to him.

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Me and Salvatore’s girlfriend, Palermo 2014

Firstly he advised me to quit smoking cigarettes. Or even not advised me but what he simply said is that I have to quit smoking. I have to. “It’s bad for your brain. You have to quit smoking” – thats what he said. Then he told me it would be better for me to avoid alcohol, because as  Polish  I  have a genetic predisposition to become an alcoholic.  Well… I’m aware of negative consequences of alcohol consumption, and luckily I’ve never had any serious problems at least with that.  He also recomended that I stop volunteering any longer. He rather recomended me to make money to have the possibility to decide.
Finally, Salvatore presented me with a recipe for happiness which  I should follow instead of continuing to take prozac. So here it is- start every day with a cup of coffee and a huge joint. Pure marihuana, no tabacco. And have a lot of sex. Thats all. You may think that his pieces of advice listed above are all bullshit.  Maybe. But I was also pretty serious, that these are words of wisdom which I  should have introduced to my life. He might have used all of those examples as a kind of a metaphor, and I should perceive his message as a motivation for me to look for  happiness in my life and to fight for my dreams.  Or he was just making fun of me? Anyway, I found him to be a superman so I trusted him how I used to trust in Jesus before I turned 14 when my father told me that God doesn’t exist and all of this religion stuff is just bullshit for kids. Something like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.  It was shock. How does it come to be?  So who are we? What is it all about?  Could anybody finally explain this to me? Since then I’ve still been confused.  But anyway,  I decided apply this untypical prescription- no alcohol, no tobacco. Sex, coffee and weed instead! At least I tried. To rebalance shortage of sex I up the dosege  of coffee and grass.

It’s 30.03.2016. I just turned 28. It’s good moment for reflection. And this is the sad message of the whole story – two years have passed by and Salvatore has started a family, meanwhile I haven’t changed too much in my life. I’m still a broke volunteer but on another Island. I don’t have a girlfriend, and I don’t make any money either.  The same old fears. The only thing that changed for the better is my living place, because I really appreciate and enjoy living on Tenerife. It would be great to stay here for longer. This Island is a real paradise even if my situation more reminds me of being in  purgatory for now.

“Salvatore” – his beautiful name comes from Latin and means “savior”. I’m sure it is the case in my story, because that guy certainly saved me in one sense . By showing me how life could have been then he saved me from accepting the status quo as many people do. People who are chained somewere deep in Plato’s cave. That could have also been my destiny. Instead he inspired and still does inspire me. He opened my skull without a surgical scalpel.. He showed me, by his example, that there is something more that is possible. That it is possible to create a piece of art with human life. And that I have potential to reach it. Since then it has been my goal, even if I have to constantly  land in trouble on this difficult path trying to succeed. And I will never stop because I am an artist of life. Every day I get through is a masterpiece.

So what is the next step of my master plan for life?  I want to marry twins. Then I need to find some way  to make money to enable me to provide gifts for my princesses. Is it possible to make money out of filming about my adventures and travels and troubles? If you believe my dreams may come true, leave a nice comment below this story. Or shere this post with the Universe- it will help me a lot. All contributions are welcome 😉

Zrzut ekranu 2016-03-29 o 23.39.37

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3 thoughts on “I WANT TO MARRY TWINS, BUT I HAVE NO MONEY

  1. Bardzo pooda mi się filmik Profesjonalizm 🙂 Historia ciekawa, prawda trochę bardziej optymistyczna niż poprzednie. Słońce Ci służy 🙂

    Like

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